I sat in the tub tonight and cried. Again. I talked to my baby who is no longer really there but is still inside me. I said I was sorry and that I was really excited and that he or she was loved by Ryan and I.
Tomorrow is going to be hard. We have an appointment at noon. I knew right away I didn't want to do this at home. Again. I'm still scared of something starting before then.
I've cried off and on all day and am just still in shock. We had no warning.
Tomorrow may be the hardest or the day after that. Or the day after that. But I know we'll get through it. We did this 10 months ago, exactly. I just didn't want to do it again.